Elimination Communication

When Baby Needs to Go

Elimination communication is all about communicating with babies about their needs to eliminate (to poo and to wee). It is very important to start with this fact. Often Elimination Communication gets defined as some sort of trick toilet training for babies or purely a way to ditch nappies for babies. And while babies of parents who practice Elimination Communication do use the toilet and while many do ditch nappies, it is very different to toilet training that we in the Western world are used to.

Elimination communication is a conversation between caregiver and baby; the caregiver observes the baby’s cues, helps the baby to a place and position and communicates to the baby that they can do the deed. The baby sees that they are helped into that place and position and learns that they can communicate and receive help to get into a place and position that they will be able to freely eliminate their waste.

The goal is communication. The communication may mean that the parents manage to get a ‘catch’ and poo in the loo, and sometimes the parents get a ‘miss’. But neither ‘catches’ nor ‘misses’ define the success of Elimination Communication.

Elimination Communication is not new to humanity. Elimination Communication has existed in some form or another all across the world throughout human history. In many cultures, it is still the dominant form of dealing with infant toileting needs.

In Western culture, the dominant practise is using nappies for infants, but we are quite used to the idea of communicating about elimination needs with a toddler or young child. The potty dance is well known in our culture. Elimination Communication is recognising the potty dance in a baby. We are quite accepting of the idea that young children often need help to get to a bathroom. Toddlers may need help to unbutton pants or clean themselves well afterwards. Elimination Communication is recognising that we can help babies to eliminate freely too.

Babies have an innate desire not to ‘soil the nest’ and they will avoid eliminating any place that they would then have to remain in their waste. Unless trained to use a nappy, they generally wait until their bottoms are free, free of clothes and nappies and not snuggled up against a human (unless of course the oppurtunity does not come in a timely manner).

Babies are born being able to feel the pressure that builds before weeing and pooing. Even on the day of birth, adults who are familiar with the signs can predict that a baby is about to wee. If a baby is put into a nappy they may adjust to nappying, they may learn to pay no attention to their bodily cues, or they may learn to actually wait until they have a nappy on before weeing and pooing. Some babies do not adjust easily to using nappies and will squirm and cry until they are busting and must use the nappy. Some babies will wait until the nappy is off and then do a great big wee or poo to avoid having to use the nappy.

When practicing Elimination Communication the caregiver notices the baby is squirming or indicating that they need to go, the caregiver frees the baby of clothes and helps them into an upright deep squat position over a toilet, potty, sink, container or even an open nappy. The caregiver makes a noise that the caregiver and infant associate with toileting, in some countries it is a whistle, some make a sound like the action such as psss, and some use hand signals (mostly with older babies).

Elimination Communication looks different in different families. Some families start on the day of birth. Some come to Elimination Communication with an older baby (older babies can and do learn how to use EC if they want to). Some use no nappies ever. Some use nappies as a back up to catch misses. Some families communicate about elimination needs only at home, and ask baby to use a nappy while out. Some families communicate and respond day and night wherever they might be. Some use special sounds, or hand signs, to communicate. Some use words and movements. Sometimes babies initiate the exchanges by indicating the need. Sometimes parents initiate the exchanges by offering and opportunity at a common time or just before/after a time when they could not potty (eg. car trip).

Elimination Communication is not expecting the baby or young toddler to take responsibility for keeping themselves clean and dry. It is not placing and expectation on them that they communicate clearly or consistently. A ‘miss’ is not a failure. It is common that babies practicing Elimination Communication communicate less about eliminatiom needs when surges of development take priority (especially things like learning to walk or becoming more engrossed in play). The lack of linear progression and the dependant (not independent) nature of this toileting makes Elimination Communication very different from what we usually think of as toilet training in Westerm culture.

Why practise Elimination Communication?

It may be particularly appealing if your baby shows signs of retaining the natural instinct to not soil themselves and struggles to eliminate freely in a nappy. If they have adapted to nappies, and now eliminate freely or exclusively in nappies it may not be as easy to transition.

A baby who is never trained to use nappies, does not need to later learn to eliminate without a nappy. This is most true for babies who adapt to nappies so well that they no longer notice their bodily actions or who learn to eliminate only when wearing a nappy.

Communicating about elimination is a way to tune in to your baby. Babies have needs, but few words. It can be a puzzle to work out their needs when we cannot communicate. Practising conscious communication about needs you know your baby has can improve your understanding of your baby’s communication of other needs. This may be particularly helpful for those who are struggling to feel bonded.

Additionally, Elimination Communication does often reduce nappy use. Reduced nappy use means less financial cost and a reduced enviromental impact. There is a lot of variation in the way families who nappy use nappies and a lot of variation in the way families who practice Elimination Communication use nappies, so evaluate this at an individual level. If you use cloth nappy back ups and practise changing nappies as soon as wet to help your baby value dryness you may end up using more nappies when you are getting many ‘misses’.

Elimination Communication can be a challenge in our culture where nappies are dominant and assumed. Litle barriers to Elimination Communication abound, like the design of the majority of baby clothes, the busyness of our lives and carpet. It is easier if you find some like minded people who have practiced Elimination Communication also. There are tools, tips and techniques that can make it easier and communities of Elimination Communication parents often share these.

Elimination Communication is one way of meeting your baby’s needs and parenting responsively. It is primarily communicating with your baby about their need to pee or poo, and in that process assisting them to do so freely (eg. in a potty/toilet). People choose to practice Elimination Communication for varying reasons, and practice it in a variety of ways. While it may be uncommon today in our culture, it has been and is common elsewhere (particularly where disposable nappies and washing machines were or are less common). If you start to look into it, you may be surprised the people you know who are already familiar with infant pottying.